By Ashli Hughes
Recently, there was an article on www.msnbc.com about why women should come clean when it comes to their sexual rituals and secrets in the bedroom. Interesting enough, the article was titled, “Bedroom Lies, Why You Should Come Clean.” It gave some interesting facts such as fifty three percent of women do indeed “fake it” while having intercourse and forty four percent fib when telling their partner the true number of sexual partners they have had. If that was not amusing enough there were even tips in which women will be able to gain confidence in telling the truth about their sexual pasts.
When one thinks of the scenario economically, think about the costs and benefits of the situation. This article was telling women to be very open and honest about very private information. What if one woman was a party girl in college and hooked up with half of the most popular fraternity? Is it necessary for her to tell the next guy she sleeps with about her sexual past as long as she has been checked for STD’s and things of that nature? What are the costs of telling the truth and keeping it to oneself? What are the benefits? The costs are clearly stated above. Does the woman lie, like most already do, in order to keep her respect, or does she confide with every new partner telling about her past? With those thoughts being said, what are the benefits of each situation? For starters, if she chooses not tell, her reputation, respect for herself, and ego are unable to be bruised. Those are the factors that play into part of why women do indeed lie. The benefits of letting her partner know probably lay along the line of respecting him more than she respects herself and being able to take criticism that she may or may not receive. There’s also a chance of a break up if the truth be told.
There are many costs in telling the truth, along with there being just as many benefits. Women, and men, need to do what is best for them. No article should pursue anyone’s decision making.
2 comments:
All of this is true to a point, however, how could someone try to build a relationship with lies? I don't feel that it is necessary to just blurt it out, but if the other asks you about your past, telling the truth is always much better. From an economical view, when a lie is told, it gets "deposited" into the other person's memory "bank". As it sits in there, interest is building up, and when the lie is found out it gets "withdrawn" from the "bank" and comes out much bigger than when it was "deposited" and is now replaced by the truth. In order to now replace the lie when it is withdrawn it will take much more truth and understanding to fill the empty space. Therefore, one can see that the initial benefit of the lie is greater than the initial cost of the truth, but as more time and emotion is put into the relationship the initial benefit of the lie is greatly outweighed by it's later cost. This can lead to the breakup of the couple as well. No relationship is ever strong enough to be able to last if people are lying to one another. As Abraham Lincoln said, "No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar." In the end, it will be found out, so why go through all the trouble and hassles with lying? It's not a rationally self-interested action. Also, if this woman has self-esteem issues, then she shouldn't be trying to fix that problem by sleeping around, she should try to make herself into a better person if she doesn't feel that she's there yet. Don't people have self respect?
This blog is awesome. It is very informative because it tells what every women lies about when entering a relationship. They fib about orgasims in bed and lie about how many partners they've had. There's just no point in doing it though; as i feel because it's just a lie in the relationship. If you be honest it just brings you closer together and gets a lot off your back.
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